A Book About Bunnies: As Exciting As You'd Expect

(#2) Read 25 books

1. Room by Emma Donohue
2. Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama
4. A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
5. A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin
6. A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin
7. A Feast for Crows by George R. R. Martin
8. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
9. The Shack by William Young
10.The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
11. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
12. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
13. Skippy Dies by Paul Murray
14. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
15. Wicked by Gregory Maguire
16. The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
17. Bossypants by Tina Fey
18. Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood
19. The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros
20. Watership Down by Richard Adams

Well, its a book about rabbits. They are sort of like humans, but they poop a lot more. And they have a very different perspective in regards to mating.

When Fiver has a vision that their "warren" (rabbit city) is about to be destroyed, his brother Hazel and a few other rabbits escape to start a new warren. This is not something that happens often in rabbit world. Much like you would expect real rabbits to, they travel in a constant state of terror, "bolting" at the slightest noise. After many close calls with such menacing enemies as streams and birds, they find a hilly area called Watership Down (apparently a real place in England) and rebuild.

Why it took them so long to realize that their group was made up of exclusively male rabbits we humans can probably not understand. But they hatch a scheme to...shall we call it rescue? some female rabbits from a nearby warren that is overcrowded.

After finishing the novel and reading some reviews of it, I was relieved to find out that it was a) intended for children and b) Richard Adams did not mean it to be allegorical. It had the simplistic language that often exemplifies allegory, and there is nothing more annoying to me than trying to read an allegory that I just do not get. Sometimes we just want to read the story for what it is: a book about rabbits.

As you may already sense, I found the protagonists of the novel somewhat annoying. Even though they were doing things that no rabbit had ever done, such as making friends with the seagull Kehaar, they were quite stupid by human standards and struggled with the simplest concepts. It was exhausting to read about their constant fright. Every few hops they would signal danger to each other with a stamp of someone's paw and everyone would freeze. I got the point after the first few stamps and was ready to move on.

Not surprisingly, a great deal of a rabbit's time is spent eating, sleeping, and pooping. Again, I got it after the first hundred grass nibbles. I didn't need to keep reading about it.

It was definitely a unique story and the plot had some exciting moments. It is also somewhat surprisingly Penguin's best-selling novel of all time so I may be alone in my lukewarm feelings about it.

And if you're wondering, my finishing this book on Easter was just a timely coincidence. Happy Easter everybody! And may the Easter Bunny be sweeter to you than General Woundwort was to the Efrafans.

The Top 6 Reasons Why "Sixteen Candles" Made Me Uncomfortable

(#17) Watch 25 Classic Movies

1.   One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
2.   A Streetcar Named Desire
3.   It's a Wonderful Life
4.   Some Like it Hot
5.   The Terminator
6.   Terminator 2: Judgement Day
7.   The Princess Bride
8.   Ben-Hur
9.   Ferris Bueller's Day Off 
10. Sixteen Candles 

I guess I was on kind of an 80s kick after watching Ferris Bueller, so when I saw Sixteen Candles was playing on TV I immediately recorded it for my future watching enjoyment. I was expecting more of the same romping adventurousness with some hilarious 80s clothes and awesome 80s music mixed in.

What I got- in addition to the music and the clothes-  was possibly the most awkward and politically incorrect movie I have ever seen. To call this movie a comedy is grossly misleading.

Here's why:

1. It is not hilarious that Samantha's entire family forgets her birthday. It is incredibly depressing and also not entirely believable. When Ginny sets a wedding date that is the day after, wouldn't that ring some bells? "Oh hey, that date sounds familiar...oh right, we better not forget Samantha's birthday."

2. Along with neglecting Samantha, the entire Baker family (Samantha included) is allowing Ginny to marry a chauvinist jerk whom she is not in love with. In fact they let her go through with the wedding even though she is clearly under the influence of drugs and possibly would not go through with it if she was in a sound mind.

Just prop her up at the altar, she'll be fine.

3. Speaking of being under the influence- Was date rape funny in the 80s? Because I'm not getting how we are supposed to find comedy in Jake Ryan passing off his blacked-out girlfriend to a horny high school freshman and saying "she's so blitzed she won't know the difference." Oh and by the way this works out for everyone because even though Caroline doesn't remember hooking up with Ted, she has a feeling she enjoyed it. (???)

Yup, she totally knows what's going on right now.

4. Jake Ryan, the supposed hero of the movie who (SPOILER ALERT!) does wind up getting the girl in the end, who we are supposed to like because he says he wants to give up his superficial relationship with Caroline for something more meaningful with Samantha, is actually the enabler of the aforementioned date-rape, and at one point admits "I got Caroline in my bedroom right now, passed out cold. I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted to." What a gentleman for not following through with it.

5. Drunk driving. Always hilarious.

6. Long Duk Dong. Seriously, why is this acceptable? Did movie-watchers in the 80s actually not know any Chinese people? If so the Chinese have done very well for themselves in the last 20 years.

Maybe I'm being too harsh. I've had similar criticisms for movies such as Juno and Superbad, which others have found comical. My issue isn't necessarily with the events of the movies, more with the ending message. I'm concerned about teaching impressionable teens that they can act this way and not only suffer no consequences but actually improve their situations in life.

Ted should have been arrested, and Samantha should have realized that Jake was a giant jerk and focused her angst on someone else. Caroline should have not only pressed charges against Ted and then taken serious stock of her life. Someone should have stood up at Ginny's wedding and said "I OBJECT!" Samantha's parents should have bought her a car for forgetting her birthday.

Or the ending could have stayed the same, but the epilogue could have featured some sad music and a scrolling statement mourning the decline of American morality. Then maybe I could have seen the humor in the whole thing.

The House on Mango Street

(#2) Read 25 books

1. Room by Emma Donohue
2. Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama
4. A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
5. A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin
6. A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin
7. A Feast for Crows by George R. R. Martin
8. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
9. The Shack by William Young
10.The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
11. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
12. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
13. Skippy Dies by Paul Murray
14. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
15. Wicked by Gregory Maguire
16. The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
17. Bossypants by Tina Fey
18. Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood
19. The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros

The House on Mango Street is the story of the young Esperanza Cordero growing up in Chicago's Latino section. It is told from her point of view in the form of short, episodic tales of the adventures on crazy characters on Mango Street. Esperanza views this house as her "temporary" residence, and knows she is destined for greater things beyond the neighborhood.

Esperanza experiences the pains of growing from a child to a woman. She witnesses the struggles of other women around her in the neighborhood, providing social commentary without really knowing she is doing so. She experiences embarrassment at her family's situation, at their house, at the behavior of her family and her friends. All things the rest of us can relate to- even if we didn't grow up on Mango Street. 

This book was perfect for what I was looking for- something I could read on my down time at work, during TV commercials, etc. Each chapter is a different tale and none are more than five pages long. The language is very readable and the plots fairly straightforward.

Cisneros does an excellent job of combining a child's perspective with a narrator who is interesting and even poetic. Esperanza dreams of being a writer  herself, and is a very good storyteller. However she is still believable as being a young girl.

Take for example the chapter called "The Family of Little Feet" in which Esperanza describes finding a bag of old shoes and trying on high heels for the first time:

"We laugh at Rachel's one foot with a girl's grey sock and a lady's high heel. Do you like these shoes? But the truth is it is scary to look down at your foot that is no longer yours and see attached a long long leg." 

This is the perfect combination of a theme that a grown woman can relate to expressed in a way that is plausibly how a young girl would express it. This foot, this leg is no longer mine. I am changing into a woman and I don't recognize the person I used to be. 


Mostly from this book I will remember the line resonated with me as being so perfectly childlike and so profound at the same time:

"You can never have too much sky."

I'll leave you with that on this chilly March day as we continue to wait for spring. Soak up as much of that blue sky as you can. You'll never get enough of it.

Why Alias Grace is Like a Canadian "Jane Eyre"

(#2) Read 25 books

1. Room by Emma Donohue
2. Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama
4. A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
5. A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin
6. A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin
7. A Feast for Crows by George R. R. Martin
8. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
9. The Shack by William Young
10.The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
11. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
12. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
13. Skippy Dies by Paul Murray
14. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
15. Wicked by Gregory Maguire
16. The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
17. Bossypants by Tina Fey
18. Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood 

Alias Grace achieves a level of haunting eeriness that I thought was reserved for the Gothic romance of Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights. And the novel's heroine Grace is just as memorable as Jane and Catherine. Add to that a scandalous murder-mystery type plot, an inside look at early criminal psychology practices, and the fact that this is all based on a true story, and you've got not only a true literary achievement but a book you won't be able to put down.

Alias Grace is the story of  Grace Marks, a young Canadian house servant who is accused of killing her master Mr. Kinnear and his lover/housekeeper Nancy Montgomery. Grace does not believe herself to be guilty but has no memory of the events at all, and her supposed accomplice James McDermott names her as the mastermind of the murders. McDermott is hung and Grace's sentence is reduced to life in prison due to her extreme young age and possible temporary insanity.

The novel takes place seven years after the murders. A young psychologist, Dr. Simon Jordan, comes to the Penitentiary to examine Grace and find out why- or if- she truly can't remember the murders.

Grace retells her life story to Dr. Jordan, from her destitute childhood in Ireland up to the day of her conviction for murder. Grace's retelling of her mother's death on board the emigration ship on the way to Canada is quite possibly the most heartbreaking thing I have ever read.

Unable to figure out the truth about the murders, Dr. Jordan finds himself agreeing to let Grace be hypnotized. In this exciting scene everything finally comes together in a way that I realized only in hindsight I suspected all along. 

If you've never read anything by Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale is still my favorite, so I'd recommend starting with that. But literally everything I have read by her I have loved. She is one of those writers that somehow makes prose seem like poetry- more readable and less rhyming poetry of course.

If you love Jane Eyre I have a feeling you will love this book as well. If you're not crazy about English romance, you may still love this faster-paced and more Americanized version.


   

Chicken Piccata, and Why You Should Never Trust Internet Recipes

(#10) Master 25 New Recipes

1. Stuffed Peppers
2. Risotto
3. Polenta
4. Beef Brisket
5. French Onion Soup
6. Chocolate Chip Cookies
7. Lentil Soup
8. Macaroni & Cheese
9. Zucchini Bread
10. Chicken Piccata

Yes, I realize the irony of this title. But here's my point: you are a better cook than you think. And in most cases, recipes should be taken (excuse the cooking pun) with a grain of salt.

To make chicken piccata, I used this recipe that I found on Pinterest. As I was doing my first read through (and yes you should read all the way through the recipe before you start, lest you wind up marinating your chicken for an unexpected four hours and wind up eating dinner at 11pm) I was instantly skeptical about certain aspects.

One, the recipe is formatted as three giant paragraphs. I like my steps to be written out as individual numbers (as below) lest I get overwhelmed and/or miss a step.

Two, the recipe included instructions to keep the chicken warm in a pre-heated plate in the oven while making the sauce. Yeah, okay. I'll get right on that. Just kidding- I covered my chicken with a piece of foil and it stayed plenty warm.

I also made about 1 1/2 times the amount of sauce, so that I could use the rest on my pasta and broccoli. 

Okay, on to the actual recipe.

First, the original recipe says to season your chicken with salt and pepper, and then dredge it in flour. I say, take the flour as an opportunity to add more flavor to your chicken. So I added parsley, onion powder, and garlic powder to my flour mixture.

You can customize with any seasonings you like, but remember to compliment what is going in the sauce. Curry powder for example would not be the best choice here.

Next, cook your chicken. This would be a good time to get your pasta water on as well.

Here are the secrets to getting nice browned meat, of any kind:

ALWAYS let your oil heat up before adding the meat.

NEVER overcrowd your pan. Work in two batches if necessary.

NEVER move or turn your meat while it is browning. You should only need to flip it once.

After the first flip.

You may need to turn the heat down a bit after browning to let the chicken cook all the way through without burning.

Once your pasta water starts boiling, add the pasta.

Here's a neat trick I learned for making pasta with broccoli: Add the broccoli right to the same pot where you are cooking the pasta. They cook in about the same time for us because we like our pasta al dente. You may want to cook the pasta for about two minutes before adding the broccoli.

There's pasta under there, I swear.

After cooking the chicken (I made two batches and then covered with foil) add more oil to the same pan and add your onions. The recipe called for shallots, which I didn't have, so I used regular onion. I think the shallots would have added a nicer, milder flavor.

This is the moment when your house will start to delicious. Every time Ronnie asks me, "What smells so delicious?" the answer is "All I've done so far is brown the onions." This time it was especially good because of all the browned chicken flavor left in the pan.

When the onions are browned add the chicken stock and deglaze the pan. The original recipe called for lemon slices but I added lemon zest instead. Cook it down for a few minutes and then add the rest of the ingredients to the sauce.

Pour most of the sauce over the chicken, leaving some in the pan.

 Then add the finished broccoli and pasta right to the same pan (see how few dishes we are using!).

I added a little more oil to make sure the pasta was coated. The pure sauce on its own would be a little too lemony over pasta.

And you're done!

My photography is one aspect of my cooking that could use a little improvement...

My full recipe is below, but remember- you ARE a good enough cook to customize almost any recipe.

Chicken Piccata with Broccoli

Ingredients:


3 large lemons, juiced and the zest from one of them
4-6 thin chicken breasts or chicken cutlets
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
4 Tbsp oil (I used EVOO)
1 shallot, minced (about 2 Tbsp.)
1 1/2 cups chicken stock
2 Tbsp. capers, drained and rinsed
3 Tbsp. butter
2 Tbsp. fresh parsley (dried parsley would be fine here as well)
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp dried parsley (not fresh parsley as it would burn in the pan)
1/2 pound pasta (I used penne)
2 heads broccoli, cut into florets


1. Mix the garlic powder, onion powder, and teaspoon dry parsley with the flour on a large plate. Dredge the chicken in the flour mixture. Put your pasta water on to boil.
2. Heat the oil in a large skillet on medium heat. Add half the chicken and cook about four minutes on each side, flipping only once, until chicken is cooked through.
3. Reserve cooked chicken on a plate and cover with foil. Add pasta and broccoli florets to the water once it starts to boil.
4. Heat more oil in the same skillet and add chopped shallots. Once onions are browned, add chicken stock and scrape up and browned bits from the pan. Add the zest from one of the lemons.
5. Let the liquid reduce for about five minutes.
6. Add the drained capers, lemon juice, and cook down about two minutes.
7. Reduce the heat and add the butter and parsley. Stir until butter melts.
8. Pour most of the sauce of the reserved chicken (to taste) and leave the rest in the pan. Add the cooked and drained pasta and broccoli to the skillet. Add more olive oil to pan until the pasta is coated to your liking.
9. Enjoy!

Bossypants: Tina Fey's Guide to Being Awesome

 (#2) Read 25 books

1. Room by Emma Donohue
2. Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama
4. A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
5. A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin
6. A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin
7. A Feast for Crows by George R. R. Martin
8. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
9. The Shack by William Young
10.The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
11. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
12. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
13. Skippy Dies by Paul Murray
14. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
15. Wicked by Gregory Maguire
16. The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
17. Bossypants by Tina Fey

People who will love this book:
     1. Women.
     2. People who already find Tina Fey hilarious.
     3. The literate, illiterate or barely literate (worth it just for the pictures).

People who may not love this book:
      1. Men.
      2. People whose opinion of Tina Fey is somewhat ambiguous.
      3. People with no sense of humor.

In all seriousness though, whether or not you like Tina Fey is a good indicator of whether or not you will like this book. Some people don't "get" her, and that's fine. Even though I personally don't "get" those kinds of people.

Also if you are a man, you may still enjoy this book- Ronnie did. But I should warn you that she talks in great length and detail about such topics as a woman's menstrual cycle, giving birth, breast-feeding, and body issues.

Bossypants got its name because Tina (successful comedian, writer, and executive producer on 30 Rock) is constantly asked whether it is hard for her to be the boss, to be in charge of other people. As Tina puts it, "You know, in that same way they say, 'Gosh Mr. Trump, is it awkward for you to be the boss of all these people'?" Just kidding, because no one would ever ask Donald Trump that, because he is a man.

The rest of the book is more of the same.

We all know that Tina is funny (well, the people who are still reading at this point probably do) but she is also incredibly smart and a great role model for women in the comedy or any other male-dominated industry out there. So, most industries.

Tina Fey has gone so far in proving that women can be funny, that most of us probably forget that people used to- and still do- think that women aren't as funny as men. She tells of her struggles when she first started out with improvisation, the stereotypes and type-casting that she fought against, and the hilarious women who proved themselves right along with her. Such as Amy Poehler- and this book was written before they tore it up at the Golden Globes together.

Speaking of women paving the road for other women (please take that ironically), Tina even addresses the Sarah Palin skit that gave her so much fame, in a way that I thought was partisan but tactful. She espouses her philosophy that "girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying 'like' all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster."

She doesn't just tell you how she got to where she is, she gives a lot of sound advice on how other women can get there too.

"Do your thing and don't care if they like it." 
"If you're so mad that you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone."
"Don't eat diet foods in meetings."

And so on. 

Here is an example of a passage that made me literally laugh out loud. And I mean literally literally, not the incorrect-but-now-technically-correct definition of literally:

"To say he was unfriendly would be the biggest understatement since the captain of the Hindenberg said 'I smell gas'...or since Warren Buffett said 'I can pay for dinner tonight.'"

I would give you some more, but out of respect to Tina I want you to buy the book yourself.

Seriously, do it.

The "Science" of Zucchini Bread

(#10) Master 25 New Recipes

1. Stuffed Peppers
2. Risotto
3. Polenta
4. Beef Brisket
5. French Onion Soup
6. Chocolate Chip Cookies
7. Lentil Soup
8. Macaroni & Cheese
9. Zucchini Bread

This recipe was a big hit at home and at work. The beauty of zucchini bread is that it has all the deliciousness of a baked good with the conscience-easing addition of vegetables to make it "healthy."

As with my chocolate chip cookie recipe I will make no pretenses that I thought of this recipe myself or modified it in anyway. It is someone's mom's recipe that I found here.

But assuming you are as intimidated by baking as I am, I will break down the steps for you. The recipe is also posted below.

1. Sift together your dry ingredients. 

Sifting means running in through a very fine metal sieve to get all the lumps out. I used to skip this step, mainly because I didn't have the right equipment to do it. I have no idea whether it makes any difference in the quality of your final product. But it is kind of fun to do- the flour kind of looks like cinnamon snow when you're done. 

2. Mix together your wet ingredients.

This recipe, like many recipes, calls for an electric mixer. I used to mix everything by hand because I didn't have an electric mixer, so it can be done. It is just a lot of work and you can never get the mix quite as smooth by hand. Especially this mix which gets a little thick once you

3. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients.

At this point I didn't have time to take a picture because I was sort of panicking. I realized the only moisture I had added was the three eggs and some oil, and the mix was extremely dry. I called out to Ronnie "Do you think bread batters are different than cake batters?" I checked and double checked the recipe and thought, oh well. Let's see how it turns out.

4. Add zucchini and walnuts to the batter.

This is where the science comes in. Once I added the grated zucchini to the batter, it was instantly wet and smooth. In hindsight I realize it was because zucchini is so full of water and I should not have been surprised. But I hadn't added any literal moisture- the zucchini hadn't leaked any of it out or anything- and at the time I was the world's most excited chemistry nerd. I believe I literally used the phrase "Science is awesome!" while carrying around my bowl of batter to show Ronnie.

5. Pour the (extremely moist) batter into the pan.

This recipe actually made two 8 x 4 inch pans worth of batter, a fact I didn't realize until I had already started making the recipe. Which is totally fine, except that I only own once such pan. So I had to make the bread in two rounds. The first one got a little burnt so it wound up being helpful to have a second try. Also the first batch stuck to the bottom (even though the pan was greased) so I put a small piece of parchment paper in the bottom the second time.

6. Bake. 

I have found that recipes almost always over or under-estimate the time needed to bake. Mainly because ovens are different, pans are different, and baking is extremely intimidating and finicky.

So one of my main flaws as an amateur baker has been not checking on my product constantly. As I mentioned above my first batch baked for about 45 minutes and came out a little burnt on the bottom. My second batch I pulled out just shy of baked all the way through- the heat from the pan will continue cooking it a little so that is something to factor in.

Zucchini Bread

Ingredients:

3 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
3 teaspoons cinnamon
3 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2 1/4 cups white sugar
3 teaspoons vanilla
2 cups grated zucchini
1 cup chopped walnuts

Directions:

1. Grease and flour two 8 x 4 inch pans. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Sift flour, salt, baking powder, soda, and cinnamon together in a bowl.

2. With an electric mixer, beat eggs, oil, vanilla, and sugar together in a large bowl. 

3. Add dry ingredients to the wet mixture, and mix well. 

4. Stir in zucchini and nuts until well combined. Pour batter into prepared pans.

5. Bake for 40 to 60 minutes, or until tester inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in pan on rack for 20 minutes. Remove bread from pan, and completely cool.

Staci & Ferris's Day Off

(#17) Watch 25 Classic Movies

1. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
2. A Streetcar Named Desire
3. It's a Wonderful Life
4. Some Like it Hot
5. The Terminator
6. Terminator 2: Judgement Day
7. The Princess Bride
8. Ben-Hur
9. Ferris Bueller's Day Off 

I watched this movie on my half snow day caused by Snowquester, and it was hard not to compare Ferris's day off to my own.

Ferris: Taking the city of Chicago by storm. Me: Doing a puzzle in my living room while watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off. 

Ferris: Stealing a reservation at a fancy French restaurant by pretending to be the King of Sausage. Me: Hot chocolate and half a frozen pizza in my pajamas.

Ferris: Developing a fake illness so convincing that the town sets up a fund to buy him a kidney. Me: Driving an hour to work in the snow even though I will only be there for two hours because I feel too guilty to call in sick.

I guess you can't compare yourself to Ferris Bueller though. That was the mistake that his sister made, after all. You just have to accept him and enjoy the ride.

I think it is Ferris's attitude that made his day so awesome anyway. Ferris is literally never bored. He has fun while taking a shower.

Carpe diem is basically Ferris's motto. Or in his own words: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

That's what everyone loves about Ferris, and that is why he gets away with everything. It's quite inspiring.

As I mentioned in my review of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, pretty much everything in pop culture (and, let's be honest, life) can be explained by how it relates to the Simpsons. In season 5 there is an episode called "The Boy Who Knew too Much" in which Bart plays hookie and Skinner doggedly pursues him all day.

Sound familiar?

The War of Art- Becoming a "Professional" Writer

 (#2) Read 25 books

1. Room by Emma Donohue
2. Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama
4. A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
5. A Clash of Kings by George R.R. Martin
6. A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin
7. A Feast for Crows by George R. R. Martin
8. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
9. The Shack by William Young
10.The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
11. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
12. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
13. Skippy Dies by Paul Murray
14. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
15. Wicked by Gregory Maguire
16. The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

This book was recommended to me personally by Sherman Alexie, So what if there were 200 other people in the room at the time? It counts.

While I'm not normally big on the self-help genre, books about writing by successful writers should certainly be taken seriously. Even if they talk a lot about God and angels and cosmic justice.

Okay, so I didn't take this one too seriously.

The War of Art (the title clearly being an homage to The Art of War by Sun Tzu) is about how to break through what Pressfield calls "Resistance"- all the little distractions and self-sabotages that keep us from reaching our true potential as a writer or whatever we are truly meant to be. The book is broken into three sections- defining Resistance, beating Resistance, and "the Higher Realm" beyond Resistance. Each chapter is a micro-lesson about Resistance and how to combat it.

At least, that is the goal.

On the whole I found the novel to be a lot of fluff without much practical advice.

Pressfield's point is basically that nothing should ever stop you from sitting down and writing. And if you do sit down and write, the Universe will reward you with inspiration. Explained in this quote from Somerset Maugham:

"I write only when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes every morning at 9 o'clock sharp."

In other words, taking your writing seriously is the first step to actually writing something worth reading. To becoming, as Pressfield describes in book two, a "Professional."

Heaven and Earth will move to keep you from sitting down and writing every morning. Your Ego will try to talk you out of it using every method it can think of, and it will know exactly what to say to make you doubt yourself. But if you can break through Resistance and put your fingers to the keys, inspiration will come.

I'm no "Professional" but I honestly think I just explained Pressfield's point better than he did himself. He took 165 pages to do it after all.

One more thing of value that I did find in the book was the idea of "territories." Pressfield claims that humans need to categorize ourselves to make sense of the world. Those that categorize based on hierarchy are never happy because the world is simply too large for any one person to be ranked among others. But if we define ourselves with our territories- the things that we do best or love to do most- we can find contentment. To test yourself on what your territory really is, Pressfield recommends:

"Of any activity you do, ask yourself: If I were the last person on earth, would I still do it?"

Without hesitation I knew that I would still write. And BAM! Just like that I was inspired.

When I asked Ronnie, he said his territory must be video games.

So what is your territory, reader?

Why Ben-Hur Hit My Heart at Ramming Speed

(#17) Watch 25 Classic Movies

1. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
2. A Streetcar Named Desire
3. It's a Wonderful Life
4. Some Like it Hot
5. The Terminator
6. Terminator 2: Judgement Day
7. The Princess Bride
8. Ben-Hur

Let me start by saying when I started watching this movie I had no idea what it was about. I pretty much knew that a) it was long and b) there was a chariot race of some sort, which actually I had already seen in 11th grade Latin class.

Turns out it is a movie about Jesus. It was even based on a novel called Ben-Hur: A Tale of Christ.

Basically, this 3 1/2 hour movie is about Judah Ben-Hur, a Jew living in Jerusalem during a Roman takeover. Judah angers an old friend, Messala, who is also a Roman tribune by not turning on his people and joining the Roman cause. Judah winds up sent to the galleys to be a rower which is basically the worst job ever. ("Ramming speed!")

Row 'til you drop!

He winds up saving the captain of the ships life, and is then taken under his wing and becomes a powerful Roman citizen and a famous chariot racer. The whole time though all he can think about is getting revenge on Messala.

Which leads us of course to the life of Jesus Christ, taking place somewhat simultaneously to Judah's (they are about the same age). While Judah is hellbent on revenge, Christ is teaching forgiveness and love. They run into each other when Judah is first condemned to slavery, though Judah does not know who he is at that time. He does not see him again until the day of the crucifixion.

Judah overhears Christ on the cross say, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." This literally blows Judah's mind (as well it should) and he later tells his friend Esther "I felt His voice take the sword out of my hand."

I have to admit that I was also affected by seeing the story of Christ come to life in this way. Though I am not a particularly religious person I do believe that if the world followed Christ's message of love and forgiveness, at least as it is portrayed in Ben-Hur, it would be a much better place.

The movie handled the characterization well, too, in my opinion. You never really see Jesus's face, and no one really tries to describe him talks about how he is the son of God. He just sort of appears, gives Judah water, and stands quietly while Judah and the Roman guards look on in a confused state of awe.

It was seriously awesome when Jesus (SPOILER ALERT!) cured Judah's mother and sister of leprosy just by looking at them. The whole movie all I could think was how sad leper colonies were, since now we know that leprosy isn't particularly contagious.

Also, while the movie was quite long, I found there were parts that were easy to fast forward through without missing anything. Such as ten-minute treks through the desert where no one is talking and you only hear the swell of the epic movie score. So realistically I probably only watched about 3 hours of it.

Ben-Hur features Charlton Heston at its finest, and was a marvel in its own time, wining a record 11 Academy Awards. Even today you have to be impressed with the size and scope of the story and especially the special effects, considering the limitations of 1959 technology.

Admit it. This scene looks pretty cool for 1959.

It is definitely worthy of its classic film status, and I'm glad I finally watched it.