The Top 6 Reasons Why "Sixteen Candles" Made Me Uncomfortable

(#17) Watch 25 Classic Movies

1.   One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
2.   A Streetcar Named Desire
3.   It's a Wonderful Life
4.   Some Like it Hot
5.   The Terminator
6.   Terminator 2: Judgement Day
7.   The Princess Bride
8.   Ben-Hur
9.   Ferris Bueller's Day Off 
10. Sixteen Candles 

I guess I was on kind of an 80s kick after watching Ferris Bueller, so when I saw Sixteen Candles was playing on TV I immediately recorded it for my future watching enjoyment. I was expecting more of the same romping adventurousness with some hilarious 80s clothes and awesome 80s music mixed in.

What I got- in addition to the music and the clothes-  was possibly the most awkward and politically incorrect movie I have ever seen. To call this movie a comedy is grossly misleading.

Here's why:

1. It is not hilarious that Samantha's entire family forgets her birthday. It is incredibly depressing and also not entirely believable. When Ginny sets a wedding date that is the day after, wouldn't that ring some bells? "Oh hey, that date sounds familiar...oh right, we better not forget Samantha's birthday."

2. Along with neglecting Samantha, the entire Baker family (Samantha included) is allowing Ginny to marry a chauvinist jerk whom she is not in love with. In fact they let her go through with the wedding even though she is clearly under the influence of drugs and possibly would not go through with it if she was in a sound mind.

Just prop her up at the altar, she'll be fine.

3. Speaking of being under the influence- Was date rape funny in the 80s? Because I'm not getting how we are supposed to find comedy in Jake Ryan passing off his blacked-out girlfriend to a horny high school freshman and saying "she's so blitzed she won't know the difference." Oh and by the way this works out for everyone because even though Caroline doesn't remember hooking up with Ted, she has a feeling she enjoyed it. (???)

Yup, she totally knows what's going on right now.

4. Jake Ryan, the supposed hero of the movie who (SPOILER ALERT!) does wind up getting the girl in the end, who we are supposed to like because he says he wants to give up his superficial relationship with Caroline for something more meaningful with Samantha, is actually the enabler of the aforementioned date-rape, and at one point admits "I got Caroline in my bedroom right now, passed out cold. I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted to." What a gentleman for not following through with it.

5. Drunk driving. Always hilarious.

6. Long Duk Dong. Seriously, why is this acceptable? Did movie-watchers in the 80s actually not know any Chinese people? If so the Chinese have done very well for themselves in the last 20 years.

Maybe I'm being too harsh. I've had similar criticisms for movies such as Juno and Superbad, which others have found comical. My issue isn't necessarily with the events of the movies, more with the ending message. I'm concerned about teaching impressionable teens that they can act this way and not only suffer no consequences but actually improve their situations in life.

Ted should have been arrested, and Samantha should have realized that Jake was a giant jerk and focused her angst on someone else. Caroline should have not only pressed charges against Ted and then taken serious stock of her life. Someone should have stood up at Ginny's wedding and said "I OBJECT!" Samantha's parents should have bought her a car for forgetting her birthday.

Or the ending could have stayed the same, but the epilogue could have featured some sad music and a scrolling statement mourning the decline of American morality. Then maybe I could have seen the humor in the whole thing.