Here are the top ten things I learned from planning my wedding.
1. Planning a wedding will take over your life. Towards the end of our engagement, a month or two out, wedding planning was literally all I could think about. I struggled to even put thought into actually getting married or what would happen afterward. If it wasn't for Ron I probably wouldn't even have managed to pack for the honeymoon. I'm amazed that I never left the house without any pants on. That's how much I was thinking about wedding planning.2. Weddings are expensive. Let's just get that one out of the way right now. Set a Budget, and then set a More Realistic Budget and then set a We Absolutely Cannot Go Over This Budget. Some people spend $5,000 and some people spend $50,000. No matter what your budget is, realistically look into what it is you want and how much that is going to cost. Then cut those fourth cousins from the guest list.
3. Throw money at it. Leave room in that We Absolutely Cannot Go Over This Budget for last minute issues that no one can possible prepare you for. Like when I ruined my pedicure hours after getting it: $60 down the drain. Or when we realized our ceremony backdrop was literally PVC pipe and we had to purchase a last-minute bolt of tulle: another $30. Not sure if your reception space has enough lighting? Throw money at it. Not sure if two choices of craft beer will be enough? Throw money at it. You can't second-guess yourself at this point; you just don't have the mental capacity. So make sure your bank account has the financial capacity.
4. Everyone has an opinion on something. The best people in your life will say that it is your day and all they want is for you to be happy. I hope that this is everyone in your life and especially in your bridal party. But even those wonderful, supportive, best people will have an opinion on SOMEthing. Your mom suddenly thinks you should go with ivory linens. Your bridesmaid suddenly doesn't have the complexion for gold jewelry. Everyone will say they have no opinion, until that one thing comes up that they do care about. Be ready.
5. Expect the unexpected. This also relates to #4. Some people in your life will step up in a way you never imagined. Some people who you thought were your biggest supporters will make you want to un-invite them. The dress you always dreamed of wearing might make your hips look huge, and getting married on a beach might suddenly sound like a sandy disaster. You can't really prepare yourself for this situation until you're actually in it; accepting that is the best way to prepare yourself.
6. Wedding planning is a testament to how much stress your relationship can stand. I know that there were times Ron thought I was absolutely crazy. And I may have thought that he wasn't helping enough or didn't think the wedding was important enough. But no matter how stressed or angry I was, he was the one person I could stand to be around. Not to mention the stress of paying for it all together (see #2). This is another reason why I will always recommend taking your honeymoon immediately after your wedding. You need time to reconnect, and time to celebrate the fact that your marriage has survived its first test.
7. Trends will come and go. This will especially come into play when you are NOT doing things that were once absolute musts. Receiving line, bouquet toss, getting married in an actual church...all things that are suddenly options instead of guarantees. At some point, someone will say, "But you HAVE to HAVE (fill in the blank)."
 |
| Our "First Look." Trend? Maybe. Worth it? Absolutely. |
But it also applies to things that right now seem like a great idea but in twenty years might make your children say, "Mom, tell me again why you thought mason jars were appropriate for a wedding?" Go ahead and make decisions about what you like now. Just remember that those photos will be around forever.
8. Something WILL go wrong. Just accept that fact before you even begin planning. You don't know which of the details you spend so much time thinking about won't turn out how you think they will. So you just have to let it go. Here's a list of things that went wrong for us:
- My maid of honor never made it to the rehearsal because she was picking a guest up from the airport.
- One of our groomsmen got stuck in Chicago due to a fire at the national air traffic control facility
- The CD that we had carefully crafted for our cocktail hour never played. Instead there was just silence (and the sounds of people chatting, drinking and having a great time).
- We ordered purple uplighting and somehow ended up with blue uplighting.
- My bathroom basket that I spent approximately two hours and $50 on never made it to the venue
Horrible, right?
9. But it doesn't matter. Despite all of those truly tragic catastrophes, somehow the show went on. I managed to marry my wonderful husband and everyone had a great time. I doubt our guests even knew about half of those things, or cared about them in the first place. All that really matters is that you get married...but of course if you invite guests it also kinda matters that you feed them and make sure they have a great time too. And they will. No matter what color the linens are.
10. It is the best day of your life. I know, everyone says it. And everyone at some point in their planning says, Screw it lets elope. But at the end of all of the hard work and all of the stress is the best party you're ever going to throw, and possibly the most fun you're ever going to have in one six-hour time frame. Everyone you love will be in one place. And they'll be there to celebrate you pledging your life to the person you love most on Earth. What could beat that?
 |
| What did we just do??? |
